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There is still a chance you can work out your differences, but it will require major concessions on both sides.
As for me, I recall spending a lot of Sundays at sporting events with my dad. I feel sorry for you, not because your husbands are working so hard but because you gave up your own lives.
Get her to explain what she believes, and how it might differ from her church. My wife expects me to understand her situation but whiles I am willing to understand, I wish she would make some effort to etch out some quality time for us when she is not stressed out and grumpy and irritable.
Do you and your girlfriend have any kind of plan for how you're going to manage your relationship while you're both in residency.