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And sometimes I think we equate easiness with happiness. But remember that it is also your wife's choice to obey or disobey, and that you have no authority over her as a person, either.
Btw, you bringing up CES letter shit before thanksgiving will guarantee a very awkward time with the GF and probably the family for the day.
My husband did his residency in family medicine before work hour restrictions and pulled hour work weeks just like the surgeons. To her, if you don't marry in the temple, she will probably do it after you die anyway.
Like you I grew up with and taught the standard LDS beliefs about temple marriage, celestial kingdom, etc.