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Everything about the loneliness and bourdon of raising the kids solo resonates. He is a great man and I know he will always put his family first but this is such a hard decision.
And after years of this struggle, will your love for him and desire to avoid the hassle cause you to reduce your activation. Dating in your teenage years will help you learn the kinds of things you value in another person.
Good luck to you and your family with the rest of fellowship.
It is how she is programmed and it is a fundamental tenant of the religion.